Classic Cock
Mina Kelly guestblogging here, on historical cocks great and small. Veni, Vidi… veni?
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eprendi modo pupulum puellae
trusantem; hunc ego, si placet Dionae,protelo rigida mea cecidi.
I lately caught the girl’s pet boyjerking off; and so, may it please Dione,Catullus LVI (translated by me)
I was introduced to m/m by Latin. It kept me studying the subject for ten years. I’ve written RPRS (Real Person Roman Slash!). Mostly what I’ve learnt is that Latin has spent far too long in the hands of stuffy, conservative old men. They edit out all the good bits, and try and pretend all that homoerotica is just poets trying to sound Greek. As my fellow guest blogger Amy Lane has pointed out, this is, to use the vernacular, bollocks.
For centuries, people have studied the works of these poets with all the best bits left out. The Victorians were the most shocked, having placed so much emphasis on Roman culture only to come face to face with Priapus and the other pornographic decor when the excavated Pompeii. The Classic love of Cock could be found in every garden, hall and bathroom. They had to restrict access to some of the artifact they found to “people of mature age and respected morals”. They’d been censoring the poetry for years, but now they had to acknowledge how much penises penetrated Roman life.
Take interior decor. By Priapus’s huge erection, if you need good luck. No, really. You rubbed the tip of his cock for luck. You could put a statue in your atrium, or a fresco in your dining room. Oh, but if you did that you’d want your silverware to match, right? It’s called the Warren Cup, and I think I want one.It was even part of their religion. According to Ovid, Jupiter had a real thing for Ganymede, kidnapping him to keep as a sex-slave (well cup-bearer, but considering the Warren Cup above…), and Apollo adored Hyacinth, though that had an unhappier ending when Apollo accidentally killed him. Being beloved of a god was a little risky, no matter what your gender.
We’re actually in the middle of a Roman holiday right now, Cocktoberfest Ludi Victoriae Sullae . Sulla put on a week of games and circuses to celebrate his military victories. Lots of naked men wrestling each other to the ground and showing off their ‘prowess’. Yup. That’s how I’d celebrate something, too.
But could it be the Romans were overcompensating for something? Priapus may be very well endowed, but other statues weren’t. And, well, our favourite poets weren’t exactly lucky in love.
Honeyed Iuventius, while you were playing I stole from you
A sweeter kiss than sweet ambrosia
…hardly was it done before you soaked your lips
with droplets and wiped them with soft knuckles,
Lest anything infectious from my mouth remain,
As though it were some pissed-on whore’s foul spittle.Catullus XCIX (translated by Guy Lee)
There are very few poems about successful conquests; whether it’s Tibullus being deserted by Marathus (Elegy 9), Virgil failing to seduce a farmhand (Ecologue II) or Horace being rendered tongue-tied by a slave boy (Odes 4.1), no one ever seems to get the guy. Though Horace does describe Virgil as half his soul, so maybe they both found some solace…
If you could adopt any part of Roman cock-loving culture into your daily life, what would it be? Does religion need more sex? Should sports by played naked? Maybe your crockery could do with being cock-ery, or your garden gnomes want something other than their fishing rods to rub for luck.
[Leave a comment and be in with a chance of winning a short story, written especially for you.]
Visit Mina on the web, or check out her latest story “Swan Made” in EM Lynley’s anthology BEDKNOBS & BEANSTALKS.
7 Responses to “Classic Cock”
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>>Lots of naked men wrestling each other to the ground and showing off their ‘prowess’. Yup. That’s how I’d celebrate something, too.<>If you could adopt any part of Roman cock-loving culture into your daily life, what would it be? Does religion need more sex? Should sports by played naked? Maybe your crockery could do with being cock-ery, or your garden gnomes want something other than their fishing rods to rub for luck.<<
Considering that, modern culture has sex in practically everything, by comparison we do wind up looking rather tame, don't we?
I think – naked sports competitions would be great, and more sex in religion is fine by me (though, really, even somewhat sexually repressive religions tend to celebrate sex (when it's in bounds), but I think naked frescos in my house would be first choice. Lots of nudes (though I'd want naked ladies as well as dudes). Done, for preference, in a pre-Raphaelite style.
And nudie tapestries, for the winter.
Yes. This has potential.
Well, dammit. The internets eated my comment.
The shorter verison: Naked wrestling sounds very nice, but naked interior decoration sounds awesome. Frescos and tapestries, and really, the possibilities are quite interesting.
Okay, very funny internet. It’s not April.
(sorry about the double comment. *facepalm*)
Spam filters don’t like cock….
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I think I’d be more likely to watch sports if the athletes were naked while they played. I’d also be more likely to watch the news if they did that naked too. Actually, I think nude waiters would be fun too.
Also, I’d like to say that this guess block was very fun and interesting to read!
LOL, perfect timing. A friend and I were chatting about Greek and Roman mythology this morning, which led to a discussion about Jupiter and Ganymede. The best part was when I mentioned how Ganymede is sometimes associated with Aquarius. She gave me a look and said, “Well, that explains a lot about YOU.” (I’m Aquarius). Eh heh.
AWESOME! I knew Apollo was an equal opportunity kind of guy, and I was pretty sure those Romans had it going on! I tell my students all the time that most literature leads to sex (and then the sex leads to humanity) so this was an AMAZING post!!! (And I wouldn’t mind rubbing Priapus for luck, either!)