Cocktoberfest: Menage and More
Tessa Cárdenas here serving as one of your guest bloggers for today. And my topic? Sex. But not just the sex by two people that you might be used to. No, I’m here to discuss how I’ve learned to deal with sex scenes with three or more men.
Now, I never planned to have to deal with this at all. After all, it’s enough of a struggle to write sex between two people. Why on earth would I want to add more? But my characters wanted to add more. They weren’t satisfied with just one boyfriend and suddenly I had to find out how three or more people could have sex.
Sex with three people isn’t just an issue of writing more names and less pronouns. No, it’s also a matter of positions, space, and of course, making sure everyone gets off in the end.
Now I’ll be honest. One of the first things I did to research my novel was watch a plethora of porn. Porn with three guys. Porn with four guys. Even porn with five guys. And I watched it all with a careful eye—research purposes only of course. I watched to see where the actors seemed to struggle and tried to figure out how much non-professionals could do.
Of course, we all know that what works in porn doesn’t all work in real life. So while it’s a fantastic visual, it’s not the end of the line in research. After failing to find informative articles online, I turned to my friends. Not everyone is lucky enough to have four friends who’ve ventured to have threesomes and foursomes, so I’ll share all of the knowledge I gathered.
It shouldn’t be a shock to find out that sex with multiple partners isn’t just about lining up on a bed and going at it. For one thing, you need at least a queen-size bed for three 6 foot men to sleep comfortably. If you want them to do more than sleep, it really does help to have a king available. After that, you have to get creative if you want everyone to get off.
I previously said that it’s not just about lining up. While that might be an option, three-way doggie style might not fit so well on the bed, and two people thrusting at once can get awkward when the thrusts aren’t timed well and cocks start slipping out. If you really want everyone to get off, it’s often better to mix it up. Let guy A get off with a blowjob while he’s being fucked by guy B and then let both of them suck off guy C together. Handjobs, blowjobs, and fucking in any combination can work.
I have to say I’ve never thought so much about the sex aspect of a story before this. Usually, I just let it all play out as it goes along, but for threesome or foursome sex scenes I find myself blocking out each sex scene before I can even start!
But even with the extra research, (which I can’t say I mind all the time) I’ve enjoyed my explorations into writing and reading polyamorous sex. Now I’d love to see what y’all think about it.
Have you read polyamorous sex before? Do like reading stories with it? Does the sex appeal to you more or the relationship?
Comment on this post for a chance to win an ebook version of The Strongest Shape. The book will be released November 6th with all the threesome sex you could want in one novel!
Contact Tessa on Livejournal or Twitter.
11 Responses to “Cocktoberfest: Menage and More”
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I can’t decide if I want to buy this book for the story or to use it as an instruction manual. Haynes certainly never covered this particular topic. (Probably would have been more oil involved if they had!)
Fingers crossed the book does well, Tessa. I’m looking forward to the sequel “Pyramid” (Or possibly Tetrahedron).
Maybe both? I promise there is plenty of story to go with the sex. 🙂
Hum…a sequel? I’ll have to think about that.
Oh heck ya! I’ve read a few stories with polyamorous (and I love the word!) sex and while the sex is a definite, uh plus, for me it’s about the relationship(s). But then I’m very much an HEA person.
And I’ve gotta say I LOVE the cover for The Strongest Shape… sexy much? Hoo boy!
And Congratulations on the upcoming release… and I’ve GOT to stop thinking these thoughts…. :giggle:
Hmmm…. I always struggle a bit with polyamorous stories- the sex can be pretty hot (or pretty hilarious, depending how much though went into the writing), I usually find myself a bit skeptical of the relationships. I struggle enough to make a relationship with one other person last, how could anyone possibly manage to do this with two others? Also, come on, doesn’t anyone get jealous, feel ganged up on? The vast majority of polyamorous relationships I’ve read about lack some inherit ‘realism’… I just couldn’t imagine any genuine people sustaining such a complex relationship long-term (barring an extreme power dynamic- eg- polygamy with one dominant man and multiple wives, as opposed to multiple equal spouses).
But I trust you as a writer, so I’m looking forward to reading about how you deal with these issues in the book.
You know, I’ve had the same issues with most of the polyamorous stories I’ve read. That’s actually part of the reason I wrote this book. I wanted to show the relationship part more and figure out the dynamic these guys would have. So while there’s plenty of sex, I tried to deal with how things would really work in the relationship.
>>While that might be an option, three-way doggie style might not fit so well on the bed, and two people thrusting at once can get awkward when the thrusts aren’t timed well and cocks start slipping out.<<
Sadly, some things work better in theory than in real life (like 69) – and by not reaching for the obvious, by changing things around, taking into reality into account, you can add at least as much by way of variety as you do verisimilitude.
On a different note, I think that's a beautiful cover.
I love reading and writing polyamorous stories– and for me, it’s usually the relationship. (I tend to go m/m/f — to each his/her glitch!) Human dynamics are SO difficult as it is–to put together a perfect menage–it’s a really lovely head-space to occupy.
Conrats on the release and the cover is great. I like polyamorous stories and I’ll look forward to reading yours. 🙂
Carol L.
Lucky7450@aol.com
I haven’t really read much with threesomes before that wasn’t mainly about the sex, so I’m looking forward to see how you’ve focused on the relationship.
I’m really amused at how your did your research. I do often wonder if what I’m reading would work in real life, but it’s good to know that yours is realistic.
Thanks for a really interesting post on a topic I hadn’t really thought enough about before.
And you got so lucky with that beautiful cover. YUM!
That is a beautiful cover and I just got the book earlier this week so I”m looking forward to reading it. I must admit, I find it hard to think that 3 guys can love well and equally in one relationship. I remember chatting about this a while ago, using Sean Michael’s threesome in his Marines series as an example. I definitely see Rock and Rig as a duo, but I never really got Dick in there as the third. He always seemed to be an afterthought when the three were together, and I always wished he had found his own love. For some reason, I was cheering for the threesome in 911, though. So I’m curious to see how you handle it…especially around the relationship. It’s just moved up on the TBR pile!
We read The Strongest Shape as part of our book club and can’t say enough about it. Not only did the story progress realistically, but the trio is so much stronger together than apart.
I agree with Jon T in the above post. Dick always seemed like an afterthought in Sean Michaels’ Jarheads series. (Even though I loved it, I kept rooting for Dick to end up with Duece and leave Rock and Rig together.)
The Strongest Shape, however, doesn’t have that issue. The original couple was missing something which is why they had been on again, off again for so long. Both Chris and Scott knew something was missing, but they were too important to each other to give up. When Caleb came along it surprised all 3 of them. It wasn’t a decision made lightly and it was the best thing for them. Turns out Caleb was able to fill in all the right places. Each of them there own man, each bringing something vital to the relationship.
In addition, there is a great balance to the overall story. Too many M/M stories seem rushed. Everything has to happen NOW. The Strongest Shape explores things at a more realistic pace. A few growing pains as they find their way which, in my opinion, makes the end result so much sweeter.
Congratulations on a fantastic read.