Vampires and Pegging and Porn…Oh My!!!
Since I’m sort of one of the final few bringing up the rear, if you will, of Cocktoberfest – I thought I might take the opportunity to reminisce over the past week a bit. Put a few things into perspective and of course talk about some of the new things I’ve learned.
Ah – Cocktoberfest. The images the word inspired in my mind upon first seeing it. There in lies a bit of the problem. I mean – I practically fell all over myself when it came to agreeing to participating in the festivities. However, I should be completely honest now and fess up to the fact I initially thought Cocktoberfest was something else altogether. It was only natural, considering my understanding of the root word, Oktoberfest, which I’d understood to be some sort of wine tasting for beer drinkers. Keeping that in mind, I naturally assumed the word Cocktoberfest – well, would involve the tasting of a wide variety of different…um…let’s just say it gave meaning to one of my favorite lines from the Bogie/Bacall classic, To Have and Have Not. You know the line – ‘You just put your lips together and…blow.” Since I was indeed incorrect on that score, we’ll just move on, shall we?
Despite my initial disappointment on discovering there wasn’t going to be an official cock tasting – it has wound up being a particularly titillating week here at EM’s. There have been several times I’ve felt like lighting up upon finishing a visit, only to remember I no longer smoke and will therefore never be having another post-coital puff. Guess that means I need to think of something else to stick in my mouth. : )
I’ve learned several new things this week. For one I was totally shocked to discover that Supernatural Sex referenced a more mystical or mythical meaning. All these years I’d thought it was Super Natural Sex – or sex you had while sober. I was relieved to recall that despite being incorrect as to the true meaning, I hadn’t missed out on having it. That rather large, muscled guy I’d picked up that night, way back in the late nineties, was quite strong. Thank goodness for hairy men! While I don’t recall a particularly unique smell, he did seem to have a bit of a sniffing fetish going on. My very own wolf-man? Who knew I’d been such a were-queen?
There was that slightly uncomfortable moment when I became a little confused, wondering how we’d allowed such a major faux pas. A blog post about older men and another about classic cock? Holy double booking, Batman! Awkward! Fortunately, they turned out to be different topics after all, not to mention great blog posts, and all was well in the world of Cocktopia.
Another new lesson for me was James’s post on being Pegged, which is something I’ve never been. I have been pinned on many occasions, and though there was nothing sparkly involved in my experiences – there was plenty of lube. I’m somewhat envious of the Pegger’s out there when I think back over my past. I mean, seriously…how convenient to be able to select-a-size based upon your own personal comfort level as opposed to the crap-shoot of dealing with whatever you wound up bringing home with you on a Saturday night.
I must admit to also now being desperate to meet AJ’s father. He sounds so sassy! I love him already! My father’s penchant for naming our pets after traditional Native American words combined with Doorber, the name of the street I grew up on, has unfortunately left me with a truly heinous porn name. I was fascinated by the behind-the-scenes goings-on of AJ’s porn shoot. I’d always imagined it to be like Melrose Place with lots of jizz. And I have a feeling it probably would be if it were me going to the set with my porn star boyfriend. I just know I’d be listening intently to every moan, groan, grunt and thrust as I tried to dissect whether or not my BF was enjoying himself more than he did when he was doing it with me. I’m just fucked in the head that way. : )
While I’ve personally never been too into the whole S&M scene — I’m not being judgie! I wig out if my shoes are too tight. I just can’t imagine being bound up. It sends me into panic-sweats, people!
I do however love a good Vamp story. While I have yet to read the books, I wasn’t very impressed by the Twilight movie. For me it didn’t have anything to do with the glittery Vamps, which while seeming a bit out there – I have always had a fondness for shiny objects. I just felt like the character development wasn’t there in the film. I am over the moon about the Vampire Diary’s and True Blood, though. I do live in constant fear that the market will become overly flooded by blood suckers and insight a backlash, causing these shows to disappear. (That’s part of the reason I haven’t read any of the books. I’ll at least be able to still get my fix when it happens.)
It will be devastating either way. Losing the V-Diaries would be bad enough. I’m not sure my sanity could handle the cancelation of True Blood. (Crosses fingers, rubs lucky horseshoe, & tosses salt over shoulder) I’d tune in at this point just to listen to Stephen Moyer as Vampire Bill say the name Sookie. There’s just something about the way he says it. I think I come a little in my pants every time he does. It’s just fucking hot! I can’t seem to hear it enough, and it’s gotten to the point that I curse my parents whenever I hear it for not having had the foresight to realize they should have named me Sookie!
I hope everyone else has enjoyed Cocktoberfest as much as I have!
Much Love
Ethan
Be sure to leave a comment for your chance to win a copy of your choice of any one of my books!
19 Responses to “Vampires and Pegging and Porn…Oh My!!!”
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I couldn’t have said ANY of this any better, Ethan…really. I laughed my ass of reading it to my husband. He didn’t get it…hmmm…that man needs to get out more.
Thanks for the great blog.
Stormy
Hey Ethan,
As always Ethan great writting! Ok so I agree with the whole Twilight thing but you know the next one is better! I still reckon it would go a whole lot better if Bella got lost while Edward and Jacob got it on! Ermmm I am reading to much M/M??? Something to ponder?
Well done, old chum!
I bloody well laughed through your whole speil. Especially about the snog and grind of a Saturday night special.
And the whole thing about Cocktoberfest – I see the confusion! And it wasn’t a language barrier! I would admit that my mind did dally a bit on the sully side. Great fun though. Smashing idea whoever came up with it. (I have to go back and read some of the others)
It’s wonderous to find a sweet for on the job training.
Unfortunately, can’t pick the size for comfort and pleasure. You have to take what you bring home.
Always told the dykes they had it easy on the fanny
– all they have to do is pick, choose and screw them on!
Ah, the stories of a jolly Roger ride!
Well, pecker up old boy – and keep with the hilarious, cheeky writing. You have the knack to make me snarfle – which is a hard job, but someone has to do it!
Carry on! Lucky dip in the pool tonight!
What a joy to read! I was smiling and laughing all the way through:
“Despite my initial disappointment on discovering there wasn’t going to be an official cock tasting –”
“I’ve learned several new things this week. For one I was totally shocked to discover that Supernatural Sex referenced a more mystical or mythical meaning. All these years I’d thought it was Super Natural Sex – or sex you had while sober.”
“I’m somewhat envious of the Pegger’s out there when I think back over my past. I mean, seriously…how convenient to be able to select-a-size based upon your own personal comfort level as opposed to the crap-shoot of dealing with whatever you wound up bringing home with you on a Saturday night.”
“if it were me going to the set with my porn star boyfriend. I just know I’d be listening intently to every moan, groan, grunt and thrust as I tried to dissect whether or not my BF was enjoying himself more than he did when he was doing it with me. I’m just fucked in the head that way.”
(I snorfled, for there is much truth in jest. I would have the exact same problem. It’s what comes from being more of a neurotic rather than a narcissist.)
“For me it didn’t have anything to do with the glittery Vamps, which while seeming a bit out there – I have always had a fondness for shiny objects. ”
Okay, I better stop before I quote the entire thing, but seriously, the mental images you’ve conjured? They’ll keep me laughing for days.
LOL – thanks for the morning giggle, Ethan. And I’m pretty sure I can get the coffee out of my keyboard…
Hi Stormy! I’m glad you enjoyed the post, but perhaps it’s a good thing the hubby didnt get it. LOL!
Too much M/M? Sacrilidge! Bite your tongue Perpetua! : )
“Snog and Grind,” Phrases like these make me wanna go trick for treats tonight, George. Behave yourself! ; )
Hey Molly. At least I know who I can turn to in a crowd when I need to overly obsess over something. I find others, who don’t suffer from the same affliction, don’t seem to enjoy the ranting so much.
Sorry about the key board, Chris! : ) My bad!
ROFL… Oh Ethan! You did it again. At least I know better, now anyhow, to not have any form of drink or eatables around when reading anything that you write. I’m always, always guaranteed a laugh-fest at the very least, if not out-and-out near-hysteria… which totally engenders the strangest looks around here!
I have to be honest in that I’ve never seen either True Blood or Vampire Diaries; the vampire shows I love are Moonlight and Blood Ties…. :sigh: Figures that I only get to see them in reruns now.
Love your post Ethan… as always you do know how to create laughter.
Oh Kathy! You must leave your house at once and go to the nearest video store to rent the first season of True Blood!
And I’m going to feel really bad if you become dehydrated from reading my books, LOL.
>>Hey Molly. At least I know who I can turn to in a crowd when I need to overly obsess over something. I find others, who don’t suffer from the same affliction, don’t seem to enjoy the ranting so much.<<
Oh, I definitely enjoy a good rant! Get it right and it's practically art.
😀 Oh don’t worry Ethan… I do have to get up once in awhile and move around; I’ll take my water breaks then.
And the first time I read your comment I thought that I had to “leave the house at least once”… which surprised me ’cause I’m not really that much of a stay-at-home…
Then I re-read… okay, better. And yes, I will go and rent the first season of True Blood. Maybe not this minute, but I do have to go pick my daughter up from work in a couple of hours. Will that do? LoL
Hey Ethan, All I can say is to you is I love you dude! You ROCK!
Sorry Kathy! Guess I get a little overly excited by True Blood. : )
Thanks Anna!
Hi Ethan,
These are the first words I’ve ever read by you and I laughed my a** off. I’m just now wiping up the coffee that came out of my nose and mouth. lol
I LOVE True Blood. Don’t miss it.And I’ll keep my fingers crossed this baby stays on air.
I can’t wait to read your writings because if just your blog post was so entertaining and hysterical, I can only imagine the rest. 🙂 Glad I found you …
Carol L.
Lucky4750@aol.com
Thanks Carol. Happy to have made you…spew with laughter? : ) So much nicer to spew from laughter than — well anything else I think of spewing from. You can check out my blog for more posts and my website, if you’d like to read a few excerpts.
Hello Ethtan!
“Despite my initial disappointment on discovering there wasn’t going to be an official cock tasting –”
OMG! All the images you just put in my mind. LOL! I can’t wait to read what you will come up with next.
“I’d tune in at this point just to listen to Stephen Moyer as Vampire Bill say the name Sookie. There’s just something about the way he says it. I think I come a little in my pants every time he does. It’s just fucking hot! I can’t seem to hear it enough, and it’s gotten to the point that I curse my parents whenever I hear it for not having had the foresight to realize they should have named me Sookie!” I believe that Alan Ball as reach the effect he wanted with that scene. 😉 It sucks to have to wait till next summer for another season.
Hi Elyane. Thanks for stopping by and I agree. Having to wait for next summer is rough!
Ethan you know that there is no such thing as getting TOO excited about True Blood!!
You know Stephen Moyer was on The Paul O’Grady show, which is a talk show here in the UK, and he is BRITISH!!! I was like floored, I was all geared up for his sexy southern accent and out came this London brough!!
Oh there is more but I won’t burst you bubble!!
I already knew Perpetua…and that he and Anna are a real life couple. I can dream can’t I? ; )
Hey, Sookie, honey. I’m with you there on Stephen’s pronunciation; my God, that man is sex on legs…not to mention having to wipe my drool everytime that blond viking hunk shows up on True Blood. I’m about to buy the second season.
I haven’t seen Vampire Diaries yet but it’s on my list to start tonight. I downloaded it from iTunes so I wouldn’t have to wait. And Kathy, I watch the reruns of Blood Ties and Moonlight all the time. Just love them!
I’m not sure I was glad or sad to pop your bubble over supernatural sex. Super Natural Sex is certainly OK by my book, but I think there’s also something to be said for all those supernational beings out there. If you ever run into your werewolf again and there’s no unique smell about him, then you’re just not his mate. So enjoy yourself with him and when you’re done, send him my way. Maybe I am! Oh wait, don’t think my partner Dick would like that much. (Yes, that’s really his name; don’t laugh!).
Thanks for the laugh today, it was definitely needed after a particularly crappy week.